IVF Life Stories with Inge Kormelink – Professionals reflect on their own pathway to parenthood

This started at home when I was a little girl. I mean, back then, many years ago, perhaps people were not so open about it, but it’s true that at school, but also at home, I’m more like a little booklet. So I started speaking a little bit about biology and the birds and the bees. Perhaps it was not a very detailed conversation, but enough to keep my interest and actually to give me a foundation for my future life, let’s say.

In my case, it started quite early when I was only 14, or 13 years old, perhaps, because that is when my appendix ruptured, which for females is quite invasive. In my case, it meant that I still had my ovaries, but I didn’t have my fallopian tubes. When I was in the hospital a doctor’s team came to me and said, what you’ve had is actually quite severe, and it’s quite possible that you will never have children, or it will be very difficult to have children.

I was only 14 years old, so it was a life-changing, very painful event. Then, I actually knew that it could be an option for me to have a desired family. My parents had 3 kids. I have 2 brothers. I knew that I would like to have children in the future

Yes, absolutely. At that time, I was like, oh my God, I am never going to have a family. It made me feel quite insecure, although I was a very good student, and I was very successful in everything I did, both in my studies and later in my professional career. However, it shapes you, it influences you. I was open about it with my partner at that time, and with that same partner, I also had my kids.

It was not easy. I had support from my family and my partner. It was not something you spoke about with the rest of the world, let’s say. So, it was not like we now talk about TTC (trying to conceive). There was no Internet. You couldn’t go online to speak with other people about it, as you can now on forums or read about it, or have access to much more information, which is very good and should be the way it is now. But it wasn’t like that back then. The pathway to parenthood was quite lonely, I have to say.

No, of course, that’s a good question. So, once I knew, we did a test and found out that my tubes weren’t functioning properly. IVF could be a solution for me. Once I knew that, it was first analyzed what my options were. I think I wasn’t even 30 years old at the time. Then we started in the Netherlands, where IVF is funded. You get three rounds of IVF funded by the government. And then I started with IVF.

I think I talked to my parents and my partner, there wasn’t much more to say. I didn’t even speak with my brothers about it. It wasn’t something we talked about. Nobody, not even the doctors, was very open about the emotional part. The personal side was more like, ‘OK, this is what you have. Let’s try an IVF cycle. If it works perfectly, great. If not, well, we try again.’ So, yeah, it was complicated.

At that time in the Netherlands, you didn’t have a choice. Later, with Thomas, I’m happy to say we have 3 children now—twin daughters, and identical twin daughters, who are already 19 years old. Thomas is 13. In the Netherlands, you didn’t have a choice. In Spain, there are many clinics. By 2010-2011, there were more options and more information available. It was no longer like 20 years ago when there was less to be done.

Yes. My background is actually in economics. I was working at a multinational company. I have worked in several multinationals and lived and worked in five different countries. At that time, when I was trying to conceive my daughters, I was still working at a multinational. But we indeed moved to Spain, and I call this the ‘hand of fate.’ I don’t know, maybe it was meant to be that way.

When I was pregnant with Thomas, I was approached to work for an IVF clinic. Yes, I was pregnant with Thomas at the time. The owner of the clinic wanted me to create new strategies for the clinic and change the whole approach to how they treated their patients. I said, ‘OK, it’s not the right moment; I’m pregnant.’ I think I was in my 7th month, so I was close to giving birth.

I then took a sabbatical year because I knew that Thomas was going to be my third and last child. After that, I started working at the clinic here in Spain. And it was amazing. I think it was meant to be that way, so I could share my experiences, my economic background, and also my knowledge about IVF. I really wanted to improve the patient journey because I think this can be done much better.

No, nothing. At that time, I couldn’t share anything with work. It’s not like now where you can say, ‘Oh, I have to go for an ultrasound.’ Back then, especially in the Netherlands, that wasn’t possible.

It was very difficult, especially because IVF wasn’t as successful as it is now. There were fewer technologies, fewer advances, and less knowledge and experience in IVF. I wasn’t successful in the first round. When you don’t have an answer for a successful round, it’s very, very complicated. So, yes, it was a very, very difficult time.

With Thomas, already in Spain, of course, we shared it with the family because it was already something I was very happy to do. That was a great support for me as well. People weren’t giving advice, but they said, ‘Okay, you had IVF twins, so that went very well. So, of course, this should go well as well.’ And it did.

Yes, he was. And actually, a nice detail with my daughters is that, at the time, I sometimes felt like a guinea pig, because there wasn’t much knowledge about it. The cycles didn’t go well, but not because of me, more because of the medical part. They transferred only 1 embryo, and after that one embryo, I got 2 beautiful daughters. So, it was like, ‘This has to be like that.’ Of course, we were over the moon with having 2 daughters.

And little Thomas as well. My kids know about it. They also visit me at work many times to see how we work and to understand how they came into the world, let’s say. We’re all very proud of it.

We told them at a young age. Thomas was very little, so he didn’t understand it. We told them all at the same time. I don’t know, maybe my daughters were about 6 years old when they started understanding a bit. I even took them to the clinic where I worked. They even went to school and talked about it. They did a little lecture about IVF, about biology, and it was quite interesting.

Yes, exactly. We also do it. We have a beautiful clinic in Madrid. We have younger children who come with their parents. But also, for instance, we have a program where older children, from around 16 to university age, can come to the clinic for 1 or 3 days. They spend time with the nurses, the doctors, and in the laboratory.

I think, you know, looking back at my younger years, it was a very painful, life-changing event. But now, I see it more positively because I have beautiful children and a great family, and I’m the CEO of a leading clinic in Spain. It feels like a full circle for me.

My experience is not just about leading companies, but also as a patient. I know firsthand what patients need, especially when they come from abroad. I came from the Netherlands, didn’t speak Spanish very well, and arrived at a very Spanish clinic, so I understand what people go through. That’s why empathy and compassion are so important.

Our main goal is to help people have babies and create families, but we also want to make the patient journey as stress-free as possible. We’re doing very well and are a leading clinic, but we always aim to improve. We continually make changes to better support our patients and ensure they feel comfortable when they come here.

At our clinic, we have about 30% of patients from the Madrid and Alicante areas, and 70% come from abroad. For international patients, travelling to another country can be very stressful. To ease that, we pick them up from the airport, provide care in their own language, and ensure they feel at home. It’s not just about speaking the same language, but also understanding cultural differences. A patient from the Netherlands or the UK, for instance, has different needs than someone from Spain. That’s why we have language units tailored to each patient’s background.

My partner is very proud of me, and of what I’ve achieved, and he supports me. My kids are also very proud of me. Balancing personal life with work can be tricky, especially since I travel a lot, but it works. The other day, at dinner, I overheard my daughter talking about what I do to a friend, and I realized just how proud she is of me. It was a nice moment to hear.

We fulfil dreams for people. Many of the patients who come to us have already had several cycles in their own country, and then they come to us as a last chance to build their families. What we do is carefully review their past treatments and design the best possible treatment plan for success. So, we’re supporting them in creating life, helping them achieve their dream of becoming parents.

That’s what we aim for. I’m glad to hear that patients provide that feedback. If the treatment isn’t successful, which can happen because medicine is never 100%, we still want to make sure patients feel supported. That way, if they come back, we can try something different or better. At the very least, they recommend us, and that’s the best PR we can get.

The best thing is, I always have a big smile… The team is the heart of Clinica Tambre. The embryologists, doctors, nurses, and patient coordinators—they are all essential. I came to Madrid to restructure Clinica Tambre, which was somewhat outdated at the time. We rebuilt it to foster growth by personalizing treatments and incorporating the latest technologies. But the team is key—it’s the heart of Tambre.

The people we select, and I personally choose the key individuals, love what we do. Whenever someone writes to us or sends a picture saying they’re pregnant or expecting a baby, we celebrate with them. We’re genuinely happy for them. Honestly, I have a passion for IVF; it’s my life. And I believe I pass that passion onto the team. They love what they do. We’re passionate about helping people, about creating life. That’s what motivates us. We have a very engaged team, a strong esprit de corps, as they say in France. We have a passion for life and for what we do.

It can be overwhelming at times in terms of language, but I actually think it’s motivating because everyone comes from somewhere different. About 50% of the team is Spanish, and the other 50% comes from the UK, the Netherlands, Germany, South America, and the Nordic countries. So, it’s actually energizing. It gives energy to everyone. Inspiring—‘inspiring’ is the word.

I think the biggest misconception, which might seem surprising to those of us in the sector, is that many people still believe fertility lasts forever. They don’t understand that fertility decreases with age. We are born with around 200 million eggs, but both the quantity and quality of eggs decline as we get older. We have many patients, especially those approaching 40, who still believe it’s easy to have children. They don’t understand why they aren’t getting pregnant naturally. So, we have to explain and educate them, helping them understand that fertility decreases with age. This is one of the most persistent myths about fertility.

Another myth I often hear is that some people think IVF treatments cause cancer. I had a neighbour ask me about this at a New Year’s gathering, and it’s a concern for many. However, this is not true. There are numerous studies, and there is no strong evidence that IVF treatment or hormones cause cancer in women. So, that’s another myth that definitely needs to be busted.

Yes, that’s a great question. Not long ago—maybe five years ago—egg freezing was mainly used as an option for cancer patients. However, in the last five years, especially the past 2 or 3 years, it has increased significantly, which I think is fantastic because there’s now more information available about fertility, and women are more interested in freezing their eggs.

The best age for egg freezing indeed is around 25 or 26, but the patient profile coming to us at Tambre for social egg freezing is typically between 35 and 39 years old. This often means they need more cycles to get a good number of eggs to freeze. It all comes down to education and empowerment, encouraging women to take control of their fertility by considering egg freezing a little younger. Conversations like this help raise awareness about IVF, egg freezing, and fertility in both women and men.

As CEO, I’m involved in every area of the clinic. We have the medical team, the laboratory, which focuses on andrology and IVF, and then there’s finance, HR, marketing, and sales. While I’m not a clinician, I’m very much involved in all aspects. For example, last week, through our Tambre Foundation, we participated in the British Fertility Society Conference (BFS), where we gave 2 lectures on scientific studies we published.

I’m actively involved in the development of new technologies, including artificial intelligence. AI can help improve embryo selection for the best possible transfer outcomes, testing for endometrial receptivity, and non-invasive genetic testing. While we use pre-implantation genetic testing (PGT-A), there are also non-invasive options available.

After all these years in IVF, I’ve accumulated a lot of knowledge, which helps in making informed decisions. We have weekly meetings with my team, such as this morning with the medical director and tomorrow with the lab director, where we discuss workflows and new technologies. We aim for continuous improvement so that we can offer our patients the best possible options for creating a family. Ultimately, that’s our goal: to provide the most optimal solutions for our patients.

Well, first of all, 95% of the time everything goes well. Of course, I’m human, so sometimes things don’t go as planned. Even when I have everything perfectly organized, things can still go off course. But how do I manage it? That’s a great question.

First and foremost, it’s my passion for my work that keeps me going. But I also take good care of myself to ensure I’m in top form. I do sports, I eat healthy (most of the time, at least—this is Spain, after all, and the food here is so good, especially with all the sunshine). And of course, I make time for my kids and my partner.

I couldn’t do it without support. It’s not like I’m a superhero, and I don’t want to pretend that I am. You need support from your family, kids, partners, other family members, and friends. And of course, you need support at work because, in the end, work is a team effort. While someone like me creates the strategies, we still do everything together with the team.

We support each other professionally and personally. I consider myself very lucky to have built this, but I’d also like to share this message with anyone who is here as a patient: don’t be afraid to ask for help. That’s something I didn’t do in my own time, and it was very difficult. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone going through IVF. You have to ask for help, and people will understand and support you. You absolutely need a support system, that’s crucial.

Well, I mentioned before that a support system is very important. But it’s also important to keep hope alive and be patient. Don’t be afraid when you go for your first visit—don’t hesitate to ask questions. Don’t leave with any unanswered questions, and if you do have questions later on, write an email or call them. Of course, there’s a lot of information to take in as a patient, so it’s important to trust the expertise of the clinic you choose. Trust the team you’re going to work with because who you choose for your fertility journey is crucial. It’s also great to empower yourself with knowledge—there’s a lot of information online, but be cautious about where you’re getting it from. I think it’s important to gather your own information to make informed decisions.

What’s also very important is to celebrate the small steps in your journey. It’s not just about the outcome. Celebrate every step you take forward, whether it’s your first visit, the testing, or if the cycle goes well. Those points matter. And, of course, remember that you can’t do it alone. You need your support system to help you and guide you through the patient journey.

Yes, absolutely! And if things don’t go as planned, go back to the clinic or your coordinator. You need your support system. For instance, when I was going through my own journey, I felt alone. I was young, and I thought I was the only one with this problem because nobody talked about it. It was a very tough situation. Just remember, you’re not alone—many people have been through this. I recommend watching the film Joy, which is about Louise Brown’s story. It’s incredible to see where IVF has come from since 1978 to where it is now. It’s truly amazing. So, know that you’re not alone, and today there are many good options available to help you fulfil your dream of becoming a parent to a healthy baby.