I think I have an answer for you, that’s the first thing I’m going to tell you because this is a very good question, being alone is not bad actually if you want one day to have someone, you need to be alone first. The first step is, we need to learn to love ourselves. Before starting to be a single mom, I would recommend, that’s just my suggestion, to take 3 months off for yourself. Analyse your relationship with your ex, check the pros and cons that relationship brought you, check the pros and cons that the failed cycles with him brought to you and when you see that, you’re going to find a balance. I was a mom almost at 42, there was this lady I met in the event who got pregnant at 49, and she has a 12-year-old daughter, and she did it by herself too, and I don’t know a sperm donor. But before embarking on any journey, and I tell you that from my own experience too, after a journey with heartbreak, pain, and loss, you need to grieve that pain, break, and loss because if we don’t grieve what we have lost, then we’re going to hurt ourselves more.
When I had my stillbirth baby girl in 2010, I jumped basically a month and a half later into another IVF, and my doctor didn’t want to do it, but I basically put them against the wall with a gun, and he eventually did it and guess what, the fact that I was not grieving or I didn’t grieve my previous failures, I got pregnant, but I miscarried at 8 weeks, and I was double devastated. My recommendation is first to take a little time for yourself. Get this book, it’s called ‘Evolve your brain’, it’s from Dr Jody Spencer, I don’t get any commission from him, I’m just giving you a tool that has worked for me, and that’s the best I can do now.
If you close yourself in the dark, trust me, it’s very difficult to get out of there, so take time for yourself, grieve that loss of that relationship, grieve the loss of the cycles, nourish yourself, and do things for yourself first. If you start to do that, and you get into a place you feel healthy, a little happy, and you have grieved, then that’s the moment that you are ready to jump into the cycle of being a single mum. In the meantime, during that process, manifest I am a mom, don’t use the word no because it’s a little like playing with your brain. We need to play with our brains, don’t let your brain play with us, you need to play with your brain, you are the one that controls your situation, and the only thing you can control is your emotions. If you know how to control your emotions, it takes time, but if you know how to control your emotions, then you have a big step there.