How to become an infertility blogger and use humour to cope with infertility?

Yes. There’s a couple of bloggers, there’s one in particular that I know is in the UK and people love her blog and even anything vice versa. I had a lot of UK readers read mine and so I absolutely think so. It’s weird to say this but fertility is the same no matter where you are in the world. I mean it sucks. There may be certain references they may not get but I definitely think they would resonate with them, absolutely. I love IVF babble – I know they’re in the UK and I can’t say enough about what they post and they like me as well.

My goal was to do it once a week and at the time there was so much going on, just a lot of feelings. My commitment was always try to post once a week and if like two weeks went by, it wasn’t the end of the world but I would then be like “alright, I’ve got to write today.” There was another thing like nothing was going on I would be like “alright, how am I feeling today emotionally and what am I worried about” and I would think about what I needed to write about, just to get it out of my head and on the paper and those actually were some of the best posts. There was one where I just posted all of my fears and that got such a response. So it’s not necessarily like I’m doing a transfer or I’ve started hormones or anything like that but committing to doing at least once a week was healthy for me, mentally, it was really nice.

It’s such a good question. I don’t know if this is helpful or not but because I do write for a lot of other places, I always use Instagram. It’s a growing platform so I just assume they’re going to ask me about Instagram. Big companies like Huffington Post, Business Insider and Forbes all want to know my Twitter followers so or my Twitter following account or something like that. I actually think Twitter would probably be the best one still, even though Instagram has become very popular. Just because you can just immediately post the link there and people could go and look. But I would say Instagram is my second favorite.

There was this documentary actually I saw on exactly this and it’s really difficult and it’s not helpful to not talk about it. So I think if you were interested in writing about it, I would definitely do an anonymous one, I would do a pen name and not give yourself away. I’ve heard terrible stories about being judged because you’re having difficulty conceiving. Obviously, my sense is if you’re here you want to connect with others, certainly. Your comment about “thanks for making us seem normal.” Yes, definitely an anonymous blog. So I think you should do it. Initially, my blog was anonymous even the social media handles I used were not my name; it was The Two-week Wait and the blog was a Two-Week Wait. I never said my name, I did my nickname, never said my last name, never said where I worked and I live in New York in the United States so it’s not a real quiet community so the fact that I was able to be anonymous until I was ready to be public says something. I think if you feel that you’re in a place where people aren’t easily talking about these things that’s even more reason to blog. I mentioned earlier about when I needed some medications, I got estrogen patches from Ireland, people from England sent me socks. It is a global universal language – infertility, and I know there are thousands, if not more, people really more than willing to support you. And if you’re in a place where you can’t physically talk to people about it, the blogging world and writing about it and even just maybe dip in your challenge is having an anonymous social media account to connect with others could be so helpful. You feel less alone, you really do.

You may be the one who brings it out of the shadows and makes it more public. I mean I think anyone can do that. I don’t want you to risk safety or I don’t want you to be judged but if you know this then maybe there are resources you can start. I started an infertility brunch with other bloggers and once a month we would meet. Maybe you could even break new ground with a blog or just being more open with your story. It could be an opportunity to highlight an issue that everyone everywhere is dealing with but you have to do it in a way that you feel comfortable. That’s a shame, it’s terrible because obviously there are many people in Nigeria right now that could use support but everyone’s too scared to say something. So I really hope you blog. You have to blog. I’m going to find you. I’ll read it. You have to do it.

Yeah, I used to do that back in the day. I think even if you eventually become public, I totally get starting out private. My mother-in-law knows everything now but I didn’t want her to know at the time so she was the main person I didn’t want to see my blog.

I think that’s such a great question and one of the things that I always tried to do when I work with anybody or even when I’m going to do something is what makes me different, how am I different and there’s got to be something that you know about you. Maybe you know this quote by Dolly Parton “Find out who you are and then do it on purpose.” Everyone has something that makes them them. I think once you find out what your blog will be or what angle you’re taking or what seems you want to highlight, organically, if you market that and, basically, say this is me and this is who I am, you will stand out. In a simple way, Instagram one-on-one is you follow other bloggers, they follow you. You can even highlight other bloggers on your Instagram account. You can reach out and encourage them to reach out to you and share your blogs and all of that. I just think there are a lot of Instagram infertility blogs, there are a lot of Twitter blogs but the reality is sometimes once they become pregnant or once they stop trying to conceive, they stop blogging. So there’s always a need for new blogs to tell a current story.

It’s great. You should promote it in the comments. I’m sure people would love to listen. I mean I just think anything you do to create outreach to give yourself support is a good thing.

I appreciate that. I really do because I think being authentic, especially when talking about this, is so important because we really no matter where you are or what your story is, I think we all know what all this is like and so I relate.

I think that’s why sometimes if you find other things about yourself to talk about it can be really helpful which I know it sounds like “duh” but what I’m saying is like I’ve always been a writer so I wonder sometimes if I should have made my blog something else? Trying to conceive diaries? I don’t even know if that would be any better but I think if you enjoy writing if you name your blog appropriately and you maybe write about other areas of your life like painting, reading fiction or you’re passionate about Jane Austen or something like that if you infuse that in your blog as well, so no matter what happens with your journey, you’ll always have something to write about and somewhere to go.